Monday, August 29, 2011

Well, today I walked into the Health Center and asked about their psychological services. Before I had time to think about it and change my mind, I made an appointment- for later that day. I had been thinking about seeing a therapist, but it had not crossed my mind to go to the Health Center and especially not today. It was very unplanned.

The checklist I was given made me feel awful. Suicidal thoughts. Wish you were dead or didn't exist. Difficulty sleeping. Loss of appetite or overeating.  A lot of those were close to the "every day" space.

I just remembered something: I have talked to someone before. I can't believe I didn't remember this till now. I went to one session when I was in Riverside. The first and only session I had gone to. And I never went back. I remember the feelings I had after I got out: immature, incapable, ashamed, foolish, embarrassed. This time I did not get any of those feelings. When I began to talk I did feel a bit foolish at first, but after I walked out I felt like I was off to a good start, and even a bit of relief. I set an appointment for next week. Let's see how things go.