Monday, August 16, 2010

I have been having major writer's block. I can't even write in here... it took me like what two months to put up a post in here. But here I am begining to try to get rid of it.

Me and hot weather really don't mix. Summer days always make me feel unproductive, overexhausted, moody, and other things. To top it off this house is like an oven- trapping the heat inside.
I noticed about two years ago that the direct heat from the sun kind of gives me a bit of a heat rash, though it's not really extreme, it comes in small patches only on certain places: the bend of my right elbow, the lower back of my neck, the front-neck bone... looks very pinkish. I have to wear clothes that cover that part so it won't burn or itch. So now I overheat fast. Nasty stuff. Only when it's hot so I don't always have this. Good.

I don't know what else to write.
I hope everybody is spending their summer days being nice and cool in an air-conditioned place.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I feel completely confused. I really do. I feel confused, lost, and I don't know what else about everything. I also feel stupid and silly. I also feel angry. Damn, what the hell is my problem...

I think I have a mild case of depression. Does that even exists? There are days when I feel completely depressed and hopeless. I don't want to get up, I don't want to do anything, all I want to do is sleep. I spend most of my time thinking, and not in the present world. My eating habits have been fluctuating. I either binge on food or hardly eat a thing, Then there are other days where I feel so good and just as I am beginning to feel hopefull there I come down again. I hope these awful feelings quit soon. I do try to not let the down days get to me, I really try hard to get up. I look at my son and I just feel completely awful and guilty and just so close to literally beat myself up. I think my son helps me a bit in trying hard not to be so down.

Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm just being immature? Ugh!!

I know it's been a long time since I written in here. I still want to keep this blog, but it's just been so difficult to... I guess figure out myself.

I do hope everybody is doing good!