Sunday, March 28, 2010

Thoughts on a couple of children's programs

I'm at a Mc Donald's catching up on my reading and chapter activities that are due by midnight tonight. I decided to take a short break and just blog.

I went to see my cousin's new baby girl. She is half Filipino and half Mexican. She looks adorable. I need to start carrying my camera. It was nice to see them.

I was reading about children and television and violence, and I completely agree with violence on television lending to a child being aggressive. But I also think it depends on the child and their home. Don't get me wrong, I like watching some violence in movies every now and then, that is what makes it exciting. However, when the child is only just developing both cognitively and socially, it is a major factor in how they will develop in regards to how they will act and react to things around them. When the child is growing they see models and they use those models themselves when facing a similar situation because many figure that that is the way they need to act or react. That is the way that they know it.

There are many other disadvantages to children watching television. Children learn a lot from television programs, good and bad. They learn how to react to certain things regarding gender differences, racial differences, cultural differences, and etc. There are many programs, including some of the so-called educational children's programs that play into this. For example, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on Disney Channel they have the Minnie and Daisy, and Mickey and Donald, who are very much girls and very much boys. The girls seem to always need saving, and the boys seem to always be the ones to initiate something. This show is an interactive educational show where the children learn about numbers, shapes, letters, and they are given choices where they have to choose the correct one. This is good in a way, but children, I believe need more than just options that will give you a single correct answer and doesn't really require much problem solving.

One program that I do like, and like my son to watch, and he loves it too, is Sid the Science Kid. It is also an educational children's program as well, but this one is aired on the PBS channel. What I absolutely love about this program is that the children learn how to go about answering a question they might have. The show always starts off with Sid asking a question about something he is curious about. Some have been about change/growth, decay, cause and effect, and etc. All that good science stuff. Sid has three classmates and there is also Teacher Susie, who runs her classroom with an emergent curriculum (where the curriculum, or the class activity, comes from the children) in mind. Throughout the whole program there are various things that are being taught. The characters help each other, the boys and girls are the same meaning there is no "ew decay, that's gross" coming from a girl, or anything like that. During observation time the teacher sets out the materials and there is no instruction on the "correct way" to observe, the children simply use their senses and the materials that are set out to explore on their own. The characters record/document their "observations" into their journal, without the teacher instructing them anything specific she wants to see in their journals. All she says is "record your observations" this lets the children record it anyway they want, and record whatever they saw because they each see something different, and there is no one correct answer or way.

This show is just filled with good stuff. They do learn about shapes too, but not like in the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse show where the shape is well defined and in weird places where you will not see that shape at all: like a rock shaped like a perfect triangle, or a tree shaped like a perfect star. What is that? In this show instead, they see shapes in real nature like for example: a pumpkin has a shape that looks like a heart, and etc. It is not well-defined, but that is what it is all about, they will recognize the shapes in things around them, not the way a perfect well-defined shape is. Anyway, there is more to this than I can write in here.

I think I wrote enough for now.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Sleeping and Sneakers

I only ran a little over a mile last night, but I ran it as fast as I could without sprinting. I do have a bad knee, and sprinting always makes it act up. Did some ab work, and thigh work, and I tired myself pretty nicely.

I went to bed almost at 11pm, and woke up almost at 7. First time in a long while I slept for eight straight hours without waking up once. So, that makes me extremely happy. =)

I noticed, as I was stretching, that my right calf is more defined than my left one. I stood up and bent down to look at my legs and you can definitely see the left one is not as nicely defined as the right one. That is crazy. I need new sneakers, I've had these for two years, I remember I got them when I was pregnant with my son. I know that all those time I've walked down the hill with the stroller, from where I use to live, made me step differently. Where I use to live I had to go down a hill to catch the bus, it was about a twenty to thirty minute walk (depended how fast/slow I walked), and I use to put some pressure on my left leg, and step a little inwards in order to keep the cheap stroller from going inwards and bumping into the curb. It was done very consciously at first, but after doing it for so long, I didn't notice that I did it. I only have one pair so I have to use it. I will go buy some sneakers this weekend.

I think I'm doing all right so far with everything else. I'm trying to keep myself busy. I don't have a steady routine, and I'm thinking that maybe I should have one.

I don't really have much to blog about... other than I need new sneakers. Haha.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Kind of Depressing

After I left my husband, I was feeling lonelier than usual. I wanted to cry, I wanted to do something to help me get through it. I didn't like feeling sad, I didn't like the way I was feeling. So, I decided to go to a chatting website just to talk to people, because I really don't have any friends here.

There is nobody here that I feel I can relate to.  I guess I just don't feel like I can open up to them. And friends? No way, my old friends are cool but I just cannot, I don't feel, I should say that I never felt like I can open up to anyone. There is only one friend that I was able to really talk to and she has left to another country about six years ago. She has her own thing going on too, and I just don't like being bothersome to people.

I just don't feel like I can really relate to anybody that I've ever known anymore. I need to make some new friends. I think I need some emotional support, I cannot open up to my family, or "friends". There is so much I want to say but can't. Why? That I don't know. Maybe I should see a therapist. I will give myself some more time, and try to concentrate on what I got to do. I do have my up moods and very down moods, lately though its been more down with the exception of that night I went for a two mile jog. I do not want to enter into a state of depression! So jogging will have to be one of my priorities for myself. And blogging will help me keep a little sane.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Running, Running, and Running

So I ran two miles tonight. All right! I deserve to give myself a pat on the back. Though two miles doesn't seem like much, especially after watching the LA Marathon this morning, where runners ran 26.2 miles.

Wesley Korir won the First place for the men at 2 hours and 9 minutes (wow), he also won last year! That must have been exciting for him. His story is pretty interesting. When he was ten (where he lived in Kenya there were no cars, or buses or anything) he would run five miles to school, then five miles back home for lunch, then five miles back to school, and the reason behind this is because he was trying to avoid punishment from his teachers and mom, and he always woke up late- he says. You can read his story if you'd like on the espn website here: Wesley Korir.

Edna Kipligat won first place for the women at 2 hours and 25 minutes, she has never run the LA Marathon before, AND it was only her second marathon! She finished the race with her hands in the air, and you could just tell how excited she looked... of course she should be, it was only her second marathon!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Making Time to Read

I've been lacking motivation big time this past week. I haven't even gone for a jog. I've been going about three to four nights a week... but I just haven't even gone once this week... I HAVE to go tomorrow night, even if I don't want to, I will force myself to go, even if it is for a mini one mile jog.

I returned two books back to the library, including Masters of Sex because I just haven't the time to read it, and I"m really not getting anything from it. Instead I got Cold by Mill Streever, and I am liking it already... I know I said I don't have time to read, but I wanted to see if this one is interesting enough to make me make time. And it is! The beginning starts off with the author getting into a pool with water at 35 degrees. Meanwhile he is talking about others who have died, or how they had suffered in cold water, and weather. He also mentions how Fahrenheit, Celsius, and Kelvin came about. It is all very interesting! I cannot wait to make time to read more.

I'm sorry I don't feel up to blogging anything right now, but I wanted to post something just to post and not loose  this blog.

Monday, March 15, 2010

I Slept

I actually fell asleep fast last night. It probably took me only like ten minutes before I fell asleep. I slept six hours straight and I did not wake up once. How awesome is that =). 

I did not take the Melatonin that a couple of you suggested because I wanted to make sure I tried everything else before I take anything even though it is natural. So I did. 

I was going to go run but because of the time change I didn't. I had forgotten about the time when I ate and I wasn't about to go jogging in a full stomach. Instead I did some indoor exercise. I will admit that I hate exercising, I really do. I prefer going for long jogs rather than staying indoors doing squats and what not. But because I didn't go for a jog and it was late I did some sets of hip thrusts, and squats. I actually am proud of my guns. Haha, but I do need to work on those thighs, so that is what I did. 

I also did some Yoga. I read about how it helps you relax, relieve stress and helps with a whole lot of other stuff. If anyone is interested in reading about it: Yoga benefits So I tried it. It is time consuming but I only did a few poses for about twenty minutes total. However I am not flexible at all! But with time, if I continue to do some Yoga I'm sure I can be. The only thing about Yoga is the time. To benefit greatly from Yoga you need time. I don't really have time, but I will take at least twenty minutes a day to slow down, breath and do some Yoga =) Meditation is great too. I will do a post on these another day. 

I am currently at the library and I need to do a quiz I have been postponing and today is the last day it will be available. Yikes.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

An Akward and Empty Hug

I am going to say a little something about my mother... . I often wonder how I can be cold sometimes, then I look at my mother and I wonder no more. She is such a cold person, she was cold to me growing up, and she is cold to me now and to everybody else.

The last time my mother hugged me was when I was twelve- that was twelve years ago. I remember because it was the last time and the only time that I remember a hug from her. I laugh a little now, because it is just stupid. How can a mother not want to hug her daughter, especially after accomplishing something? It was an award ceremony and I don't remember what kind of award I received but I do remember that the students went up with one of their parents and at the end all the parents were so happy and proud of their child and they all gave them a nice, warm (and genuine) hug. My mother looked at me, and hesitated before she decided to go along with everybody else. The hug was extremely awkward and I wished she had not hugged me at all because I felt it very empty and it made me sad instead of happy. There is more coldness from her besides what I just wrote, but it'd be too much to write on here.

I think this is why whenever I accomplish something I am happy within myself, and I do not really let anyone know for fear of ??? Not sure. I guess I always felt that what I accomplished (when I was younger) was nothing, I never received a "I'm so proud of you" or even a smile or hug that tells me I did something good. I felt that what I did was not good enough. So, I do not really let anyone know something I'm excited about because nobody cares, if my mother doesn't seem to care or to think that I've done something that I should be proud of myself, why would anyone else care? I do write my excitements on here though, so I guess in a way I am looking for someone to be excited with me because I do have a reader or two. That is nice, it makes me feel good. =) And if there is nobody commenting or reading, that is fine also because this blog is mainly for me.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


I haven't had time to read... I began reading Masters of Sex about a month ago and I've only read eighty pages so far. I wasn't sure what to expect, I wanted to read more than just their life. I was interested in finding out what they did and how they went about getting people to have sex in the name of science and etc. The beginning is only about William Masters and Virginia Johnson's lives before they met each other. I am at the point where Masters is proposing what he wants to do to the Washington University: Research sex- human sexuality, and he wants to go directly to the "professionals" in this: prostitutes. You can imagine the shock in the fifties. I want to finish reading it only because I have already started it, and I am still curious as to how they went about "researching sex". However, this is a library book, I've renewed it once already and I think I can only renew it twice. So, I guess we'll have to see.

There are other books that I yet to read. I will update my reading list soon because there are others that I am interested in reading.

I feel so overwhelmed right now. Not so much about things to do (though I do have lots of readings for my classes and quizzes to do), but with my emotions, my excitements, and my concerns with everything that I want to do. I feel silly writing this right now, but that is really how I feel. I need to take one step at a time and concentrate on what I am doing right now, finish what I am doing, move on to the next step, finish that and then move on even further, and etc.... Sometimes I get so frustrated (as I'm sure everybody does) and feel completely unmotivated, and all I want to do is drop everything I'm doing, leave everything behind, and move on. Today is one of those days.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Poetic me?

I found three poems I had written about three or four years ago (I had more but I think they were lost when my computer had to be reprogrammed because of a virus that didn't allow me to open up anything, I might have some paper copies). One is pretty funny--in a stupid way I guess, and I'm not sure what to think of the others. I remember I grabbed a book and chose random words from the book and created a poem of those sets of words. I thought I'd put them up here.

Baby Blanket
I wish I had a dollar
I want to buy a candy
and some juicy fruit as well

I want to buy a cookie cause I'm going crazy
with the onions.
They make me want to cry like
the baby who is sleepy, who
we wrap up in a baby blanket.
A blanket full of cotton candies and
some fruit loop as well.

From one to ten I count
making loopty loos and loopty laas.

In black and white I see him red.
Let's not forget
his name is

Please, Sir Below, did you know
that there are others who want you?
They pray and worship you
like if you were their God, I think you are.
Go to them, leave me alone.
I do not want to burn.
I want no pain.
Take your words and curses over to them
and let me be. Why have you come to me?
I do no even look for you.
I stay by myself, love no one and therefore hurt no one.
I take bread from the rich because I have no money,
they are the government and corporations, and they won't miss it.
I don't have friends to confide in and
therefore no one to confide in me--
no one to lay their worries upon me.
I think of only me, and no one else.
Only because I do not want to trouble them... but more...
I do not want their troubles.

The Love Poem
I must write poems about
the life of you and me.
It will be about how much you love me.
I will write about how you always hold my hand,
how you keep me close to you
and never let me go.
I will write about your different kisses,
the passionate ones and the cute ones.
I will write about how
you never raised your voice at me,
or even your pinky.
I'll write about the flowers of special occasions
and the gifts I receive only because it's Wednesday
and because you love me.
I will write the perfect love poems about our life together
and how it should be-- not about the love you have for me now.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Here I go again...

My days have been very uncomfortably predictable. I don't like being predictable. Even if there is some tiny bit of unpredictability, I want it. These past year and a half I have not felt challenged. I have not felt the motivation, and that spark of interests I once had. I'm taking some classes, but not exactly the kind of classes I want, but the classes that I need in order to get that permit. When I had my creative writing classes in Riverside it was different. I was always challenged with reading comprehending, analyzing, and writing, and I think that was one of the reasons why I decided to do creative writing- the other being that I enjoy writing.

The thing that I regret about my last two years in Riverside was not being strong enough to fight off, or shrug off, everything. Well, I guess what I regret was not doing something to get myself together, something to get myself out of that situation that pushed me away from everybody and from what I wanted to do. Yeah, I think that is what I regret.

Now I am starting new; I've left a huge negative that was taking over the happiness of my life--my husband, I am taking the classes I need to get my permit, I will find the job I feel I need to accommodate my son. Once he is five or six I WILL, I MUST go back to school. This time I will do math. Again, I'm sorry for repeating myself... but this I have to do this for myself. I HAVE to write it down as much as possible to remind myself what my goals are.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Insomnia and sleep paralysis

For about the past four years I had been having trouble sleeping, it got worse about two years ago, and now these past two months are even worse. I have come to a conclusion: I have insomnia. Yeah, I refused to accept this, but it has been a lot sleepless nights, and when I do fall asleep I cannot stay asleep. So, you can see it is difficult to say that I do not have it, when clearly I do.

I was reading "Top 10 spooky sleep disorders" on the msnbc website. It was interesting to read a snippet of these disorders. They were: Nightmare disorder, sleepwalking, night terrors, sleepy hallucinations, exploding head syndrome, sleep paralysis, REM behavior disorder, nocturnal sleep-related eating disorder, sexsomnia, and last insomnia.Though some don't really seem like disorders, just something that happens.

Before having insomnia I think I use to have sleep paralysis. I say "I think" because I am a little confused with the sleep paralysis one. Some of these "symptoms" can be associated with out of body experience. I had read about the out of body experience (or as some call it: astral projecting), and people can go through this OBE right before you fall asleep, but you are not really awake (if that makes sense). Sleep paralysis, however is when you are waking up, you are awake and cannot move. I "experienced" this paralysis but not when I was waking up, it was right when I was about to fall asleep, I felt a pressure on my body (which is also a symptom of sleep paralysis). I read that OBE are usually a good experience, but I also read that some people experience something frightening when transitioning out of their bodies, including paralysis... I am more convinced thought that it was sleep paralysis, or else I'd be telling my out of body experience. Haha.

I refuse to take any form of medication... I have tried chamomile tea, calcium with magnesium, and even running to tire myself out, and various other things. I would like to know if there is anything that works for anyone else? Whether it'd be counting sheep, or whatever. I am interested in finding out what works for people.