Saturday, February 27, 2010

A sort of Pet Peeve

So someone reminded me how much I enjoy math, and how good I am at it. I only took college math, and I am seriously confused as to why in the hell I did not pursue it? I enjoyed it, it was the only class (besides my later writing classes), that I received an "A" in. I do not know much more than basic college math, but I know that I would be very good at it. There is a lot that I'm sure I do not know about math, but I like the fact that there is a wrong answer, and I like the fact that there is logic... I know I brought it up already... but I am excited at the prospect of this. =)

I feel very different from five years ago, two years ago, and even just two months ago. My cousin told me that I am a very tough cookie (her words), and I never really thought about that. I just thought I was going through life, with how life is just like everybody else and I still think that. But after she told me this I do wonder what she meant by it. I mean, EVERYBODY goes through A LOT, some more than others, and others not so much. However, that feeling that one gets is there, it is a different experience that one goes through, but there is still something there and that doesn't mean that it is any less of a "experience."

If there is one thing that gets on my nerves is when someone tries to "top" people with "oh, well I've been through this," and "Oh, I been through worse," "you're crying over that? That's nothing."  It is not nothing, it is something... hello if it stirs up up an emotion in you, if you feel it overwhelming, no matter how much you try it not to, it is there. There is no less, or much more, of an experience.... Everyone is entitled to feel whatever they are feeling. I don't mind giving an ear when needed... what I don't like is when they make themselves seem like the victim over and over and over... and bring it up again and again.

It is 8:30pm, the rain has subsided, and it is nice and cool outside... why is the ice cream truck (with the entertainer playing) on the street?

Friday, February 26, 2010

I've added

I was clicking on the above link "next blog" to view random blogs and I've added some people to my blog list... I am interested in reading your blogs... =) ... I hope you don't mind... if you do, I understand. Just let me know and I will take you off.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Self Reflection

I am right now at a point in my life where I just don't know what to do. I don't know who I really am, I am confused about who I am, who I am trying to be, and who I want to be. I been thinking: "Is this who I really am? Or is this who I want to be? Or maybe I am just trying to be someone because being that someone will make me feel... ??? Special?" I look at everyone around me, old classmates and old friends, and they all seem to have their life together, or at least going in the direction that they've always wanted to go. No one seems to have deviated from the direction they were going in the first place. They are somewhere, and they are somebody... or if they are not somewhere yet, they are headed in the direction they want and they know they want to head into. I am not working, I haven't worked in a while, and I don't want to delve into why I haven't.

I have a BA, in something that I am not particularly good at but I do enjoy. I am taking classes to be a preschool teacher for now, at least until I figure out what to do and because I think it will work best with my son and his needs. Later, I hope I can go back to school and do something with mathematics. I am not sure how I will do it, but I MUST do it, I HAVE to do it, and I WILL do it.

I wish I could do it now!